Quick update

Well Just a few thoughts that I may expand on sometime in the near future
-The yard and the evenful weekend
So Matt brought the tractor home this weekend and we ripped out all of the bushes and trees that needed to go all we have to do now is put it all back together.
-Blessings of good jobs and being somewhat financially stable
When we remodeled we put in a high efficiency furnace and sold our old one a family came that their furnace had gone out the pervious day and they had spent the night without heat they had been looking for one but couldn't afford anything then they found us and a furnace. It had been a cold night and the mom told us about how they all cuddled together to stay warm it broke my heart. At times like these I realized how blessed Matt and I are to own a home, reliable cars, fantastic jobs, and to have very minimal debt.
-Finals and upcoming gradation
So I graduate on Fri May 2 and I am thrilled I am bored already and getting a part time second job while my amazing husband hangs in there and goes to school all summer.
-Crazy Summer
Well so nic is getting so fri may 2 only hours after graduation I am throwing her a shower and only twelve hours after that my youngest sister maddi will be baptized. Oh how life changes so quickly. This summer will be fun the family decided that even with nic's wedding the lake powell trip will still happen and the week before the wedding I think it will be fun.

stupid fears

So I have a big problem that I worry about alot more than I should ever worry about something this stupid. Ever since I can remembered I have been concerned about my weight and for most of that time I had nothing to worry about. My biggest fear is being over weight I weigh myself sometimes everyday when I am at my worst. I have been trying to correct this problem especially lately now that we have been talking about starting a family. I am ashamed to say I have actually put it off because of this fear. I start to think about all the weigh I will gain and it makes me physically ill which is so shallow. See this is the problem though I have a skinny family and comments were alwas made when I was growing up about the heavier people we would see or pass on the street. As I am now dealing with these same feelings I think about how I want my kids to grow up viewing people of different sizes as well as themselves. I almost look at heavy set girls that carry themselves with confidence with jealousy because I can gain a pound and want to hide in sweats and a hoodie for the rest of my life. I try to buy figure fitting clothes so that certain people in my life don't make comments about my weigh or think that I have gained weight. I don't want my kids especially my girls growing up afraid to live life to its fullest no matter what their size just as long as they are healthy. This sounds stupid but I am hoping by admitting that I have a problem will help me to get over this. Thanks for listening and if you have any advice I'm listening.